The stories told in this work are salient for what isn’t stated, but more importantly, they give shape and form to what many in the African American community have always known, but have chosen to keep on the down low. Generally speaking, black folks have a hard time admitting to themselves, let alone the outside world that black families produce children who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender just as much as their white counterparts.
Indeed, this commemorative edition highlights the coming out experiences of women of color from various socioeconomic backgrounds and cultures. Utilizing essays, poems, stories, and interviews, the authors offer a boundless perception into the entanglements of black women on their journey of self discovery and acceptance. Me, Growing up, (part 1) is a penetrating tale of two nine-year-old girls learning what feels good to their sexually-awakening bodies: “. . . we played softball and basketball on alternating days; nights, we learned what felt good to nine year old bodies.”
Tonda Clarke’s immersing chronicle I Guess I Never Will delves into her life as a young girl budding into a full-fledged woman, complete with swelling breasts, pubic hair, and the contouring of her woman hips: “. . . I would observe this new body in my mirror, the changes seemingly occurring right before my eyes . . . stimulating and teasing it, loving the feeling of control . . .”
Soon, she had her first real girlfriend, and together they showed each other what it was like to be touched, kissed, and penetrated by someone of the same gender: “. . . I felt the wet and opened my thighs, wide, rubbing frantically against her; she was breathing hard, emitting little whimpers into my mouth as our tongues probed and explored . . .” Though Tonda’s girl seemed to enjoy their secret rendezvous for a while, in the end she appeared overtly relieved when Tonda moved away. After several years, they ran into each other, made small talk, and Tonda discovered that her childhood love was now married with children. Upon learning of Tonda’s lesbianism, her laughter “sent a cold fire to [Tonda’s] very soul,” and she quipped, “You mean you never grew out of that?” With old wounds finally closing, Tonda responded: “I guess I never will.”
Moore’s extraordinary assemblage of coming out stories sheds light onto the transcendence of SGL women of African descent, the black community, and what life really looks like behind the masks so many wear for reasons that run the gamut from trying to appease family members, to covering up shame and self-hatred, to the fear and resentment they get from a homophobic society. Readers will come away with a profound understanding about the intricate lives of black lesbians, whose searing voices make a loud thunder yearning to be heard.
Due to its exploratory and revealing content, does your mama know? is fitting for academic, public, and special collections. I also recommend this work for anyone over fourteen years old.
Reviewed by, Michelle D. Dartis
MLS degree Candidate
Indiana University-Purdue University, Indianapolis